We enter the world of work, often eager to learn and develop. We explore different roles and build our skills, knowledge and expertise. We then start to establish ourselves in our careers.
Many women hit that mid-career point when they take time out to raise a family. Work-life priorities can change at this stage and we reassess what’s important to us and how we would like to work. This stage can be a shock to the system, there is little preparation and we are often blissfully unaware of how our lives will change and careers may change.
This is where life gets complicated for anyone who takes time out. You may hit pause for a year or two and return to work gently. You may hit pause for longer and your career may take off when you’re in your forties or fifties. Alternatively, you may side-step, pivot or change careers completely or develop a career portfolio and that’s all ok. You’ll have fixed ideas (rules) about what you/they/people ought to do (and so will your partner, mum, Auntie May and your hairdresser) but if the rules don’t work for you then you might just have to break them! Here are four simple ways of thinking about that:
1 Duck under Ladders
You don’t have to climb any ladders if you don’t want to. It’s ok to do what’s right for you and your family, even if you end up temporarily under-employed (essentially being overqualified and underpaid for what you do) but happy, less stressed and paid, you have betrayed no one and nothing if it’s the right thing for you. You can still get a seat on the Board, climb a mountain, become an MP, save whales - but you don’t have to do it in the next 18 months if it’s going to have a detrimental effect on your mental health or your happiness.
2 See everything as a phase
It may help to see things in phases (like the toddler ones) and what you do now doesn’t have to be what you do in a years’ time or 2 years’ time. On your CV, you can put less weight on some things than others or you can use a hybrid CV to showcase your skills and achievements rather than your career history.
3 Define your own achievements
Think about what you want and need from work. It could be time for you, intellectual stimulation, human interaction, meaningful work or being ‘more than mum’ or carer. This can be achieved in so many ways in your career and outside of it. We’re not all the same. We all have different priorities. What are yours?
4 Identify your money ‘needs’ rather than ‘wants’
Be honest with yourself about how you feel about money. You may want your financial independence back or you may want to able to contribute to bills. However, if your self-worth is tied up with a certain figure even when you look at the other achievements above then negotiate for that because that is a ‘need’ too.
Getting clear on your career means that you start to take back control and that might mean tearing up the rulebook…
If your head is full of career spaghetti and you need some help with this, please book a free consultation: